Sex Tips & Advice

Alright guys, I know a lot of you have some whacky ideas about what a woman want.

Well, I’m here to set you straight, if that’s possible. This is going to be a real quick summary here, so don’t get too excited.

I’m not writing an article for you to read ‘in the bathroom’; I’m just doing this as sort of a community service.

Think of this as my NBC ‘The More You Know’ campaign contribution.

So, here’s the deal. Lots of guys out there seem to think the crap you see in adult videos is real.

Here’s a fact for you. The women in those movies get PAID to act like they love that stuff so you’ll buy the film and ‘enjoy’ it in your own fashion.

The producers know you want to see some of the dirtiest stuff they can provide, so they give it to you.

Now, here’s a fact about REAL women. They don’t typically go in for that kind of stuff.

I know, there’s an exception for every rule, but for a broad generalization, this works fine. Here’s what the typical woman hates in the bedroom.

Pay close attention, boys. My wife will vouch for me; I know what I’m doing.

Anal. If you approach this the right way, a lot more woman will like it more than you might think.

However, women tend to shy away from it because men DON’T approach it the right way.

We want to just slam it home, and keep pounding. Doesn’t work that way. You need to loosen it up a little.

Even if your penis is small, it’s still pretty big compared to that hole.

Get some anal lube, work the anus with your fingers a bit, and maybe she’ll come around. But don’t count on it.

There’s still plenty of women out there that deem that as ‘off limits’ due to previous bad experiences, or maybe just a lack of good experience with their anal play.

Cunnilingus.

Again, if you know what you’re doing, you can really give her pleasure!

However, this is something you need to communicate with her about prior to doing. I know, every woman loves a good licking.

However, some of them are very shy about their vaginas, and just ‘diving in’ would scare them away rather quickly.

However, if you are truly ‘gifted’ in this area, and you really feel like you can get them off first time out, go for it. Good luck.

They’ll probably be so nervous with a new face down there that they won’t be able to cum for three days.

Blow Jobs.

Every man knows some women that just LOVE to suck on their members.

Well, that’s all well and good, but most women aren’t big fans of having you blast a load into their mouths.

I know a lot of women that perform really well, but just hate that taste.

If you’re not sure how they feel about it, you’d best warn them to move before the time comes to cum.

If you shoot 2 months worth of buildup into a woman’s mouth who truly hates that taste, be prepared to be puked on, and not get another date for a long while, if ever.

Doggie style.

This one is rather iffy. I know a ton of women who just LOVE this position, due to the angle and how things rub together.

It really is a great position for all involved.

However, I’m still going to say this is something to stay away from for the first couple of dates, just for the fear that has been instilled in some women.

I’ve been behind a few who made it a point to tell me if it went in their butt, they were keeping it as a battle trophy.

That’s not something that really ‘puts me in the mood’, if you know what I mean.

Again, due to bad experiences in the past, she’s worried about her ass, and doesn’t want you to decide to just slam it home, so-to-speak.

Any position that requires a gymnast – unless you’re dating a gymnast. Again, this goes back to the adult videos example from earlier.

Most women have a kinky side to them, at least a little.

However, they really don’t want to be uncomfortable while you’re doing them.

What’s in it for them?

They get to have leg and arm cramps to try to balance in a position so that you can pound them and try to knock them over because you don’t have a clue how to hold a woman in that position in the first place?

Get the clue, fellas!

Women want a little romance, and they also want some physical acts of love, but you have to be gentle and loving that first few times, so they know that you can.

So, to sum up, keep it simple the first few times out.

Yes, talk to your woman and determine what she might like, but don’t just pull it out and slam it in.

If you stick to the basics and show her you can be gentle and loving, you’re much more likely to have her show you she can be wild and animalistic.

Also, keep in mind that a lot of women lick to be on top. This is sometimes because they like how it feels, and sometimes because they like the feeling of power over the situation.

The reason doesn’t matter, lots of women like it, so offer it, ask for it, and enjoy it when it happens.

One of the first three times you have sex with a new woman, she should be on top. At least.

That also helps reduce her feelings of anxiety over certain issues, because she sees that you trust her, and also that she has power over you.

Happy young couple being intimate on bed

10 Sex Drive Killers

Sexual libido can be an unpredictable thing, making sex life something like a roller coaster ride.

One minute you’re at a height, and the next you’ll feel like you’ve hit a slump. Confused and worried about it? Don’t be.

If you happen to be experiencing a decrease in your sexual libido, realize that it’s perfectly normal and happens to the best of us. 

The first thing to understand is that sex drive and sexual arousal are two different things.

Sex drive or desire refers to your interest in sex, while sexual arousal refers to your body’s physical response, such as the lubrication of the vagina for women or the ability to have an erection for men.

People with higher sexual libidos find little difficulty getting aroused.

Conversely, those who have difficulty getting aroused might experience a drop in libido over time.

If sexual arousal is not a problem, but libido seems to be low, then a doctor or health care provider might look at certain factors as possible causes for the decline in sex drive.

For a brief guide, here are the commonly perceived sex drive killers:

  1. Changes in the pace and activities of your life

If you suddenly find yourself in the thick of things, handling a lot more responsibilities at work or at home, and become increasingly burdened by a hectic schedule, you might experience a decline in your sexual drive, which suddenly takes a back seat in the face of all that frenzy.

Between work, kids, friendships, school, hobbies, volunteer work, homemaking and exercise, there just doesn’t seem to be time for sex.

When we do get a minute of free time, often the last thing we want to do is spend it in an amorous cuddle.

And it isn’t that you don’t want to have sex, it’s just that you don’t seem to have the time for it.

Sex is an important part of adult relationships.

If your present busy lifestyle is the reason for the sudden decline in libido, then you would have to find some way to still fit it in.

Scheduling sex into your calendar may make you giggle, but if that’s what it takes — do it!

Designate a night or two a week to spend quality romantic time with your partner.

Make a game of it: take turns bringing something new to the bedroom, such as sex toys, illustrated books, adult dvds or even new techniques.

By planning ahead, you’re making a commitment to yourself, your partner and the relationship, a commitment you’ll keep — just as you’d keep a meeting you scheduled with your best friend, your child’s teacher or a business associate.

  1. Stress, Fear and Anxiety

Nothing could douse your sex drive faster than stress.

When stress, fear or anxiety hits you, sex will most likely be the farthest thing from your mind, and with good reason.

Work dilemmas, relationship woes, family issues and money problems can be devastating to our libidos: it’s hard to feel sexy when you’re worried about the mortgage payment.

Some might even be stressed out about sex itself, harboring fears of sexually transmitted diseases or maybe feeling inadequate about one’s sexual performance.

Such fears and anxieties can certainly dampen your mood, and hamper your chance to have a satisfying experience.

The best step to combat stress is to ensure you maintain a healthy body as well as a healthy mind.

Keep yourself fit, exercise regularly, eat a balanced diet and have as much rest as you can.

While you’re at it, help your mind de-stress by finding some relaxation and meditation techniques that would work for you.

Strengthen your mind by spending time doing things that are good for you, like reading, interacting with people. Find an outlet or hobby such as gardening or even writing in a journal. 

With both a healthy mind and a healthy body, you are better equipped to face the stressful things that are a part of everyone’s life, and ensure you don’t have to take the burdens with you all the way to the bedroom. 

If you’ve tried all these techniques, and still feel that stress, fear or anxiety is damaging your libido, you might try to consider seeking professional help. 

If you are comfortable with the idea, see a sex therapist.

Otherwise, talking to a psychologist, marriage counselor, or life coach might help you feel better and find a solution to allow you to enjoy sex more.

  1. Boredom

An over familiarity with your present partner might sometimes lead to a decrease in your sex drive.

After spending quite a long time together, things sometimes aren’t just as exciting anymore.

By that time, you’ve pretty much done it all … and have ruled out or forgotten about anything else you haven’t tried.

Even couples who have been dating for only a few months can get into a sexual rut after the first flush of puppy love has worn off.

If that is the case, it might be time for a little spontaneity.

Take the initiative to inject a bit of variety in your sex play.

View your sex as an entirely new experience altogether by trying out new things again.

Buy some sex toys and use them together. Watch an adult dvd together and try to emulate the actors. Read or look through some illustrated sex guides.

You might feel some initial embarrassment as you and your partner try new experiences together, but if you both keep open minds you’ll soon find yourself having the time of your lives.

couple kissing bedroom toys

5 Sex Mistakes Made By Men

One of the many main challenges that men will have to decide on is what positions to use when having sex.

The main fear is that the woman will get bored with the same routine and as a result lose interest in sex. So the question becomes, what are the sexual positions

The easiest way to explain this is to talk about what not to do.

With that in mind, we will now talk about the top five mistakes men make when it comes to sex positions. So hopefully we can prevent people from making them.

Position Mistake 1:

Imitating anything seen in a porn movie. This is probably the biggest reason that guys fail in terms of getting their partner off.

Inexperienced guys pick up porn positions during their many hours of watching adult dvds while masturbating.

Another reason why they might use postions they have seen in adult porn videos is that they are inexperienced sexually.

The problem is that sexual positions in adult movies are meant to display scenes for viewers, not to provide pleasure for the actors.

In fact, one of the worst positions for clitoral stimulation is when the woman puts her ankles on your shoulders.

With her pelvis bent back that far, she can feel pain in her cervix if you push in too far.

If you ever have a chance to watch the making of an adult movie, you’ll see how quickly the excitement gets killed when the actress keeps having to stop the scene to go to the washroom!

Position Mistake 2: 

Trying too hard to keep your weight off the woman, in any position. Women see sex as a way to get closer to a man.

She loves it when he leans on the underside of her thighs. Tip!

Next time you’re having sex with your girlfriend, wife, sexual partner, get more of your weight on her.

During sex, almost every female enjoys feeling her partners body pressed hard against her.

So really how much weight should you put on her?

Make it enough so that after you cum, and the sexual excitement dissipates, your partner will tell you that she feels like she’s being squished. Obviously, do this within limits!

If you’re grinding her pubic bone for too long, it can feel painful for her and you don’t want this and nor does she!

Bottom line is that many women like to be pressured by at least some of the man’s weight. So save the gentlemanly sex for the royal family’s women!

Position Mistake 3:

You shouldn’t let the woman do all the work when she’s on top. For virtually every woman, sex is mostly a passive activity.

So by being the motionless beta male, you destroy the whole purpose of sex for her, which is to open herself up for penetration.

Help her out by playing with her clit, nipples and rubbing her body.

Position Mistake 4: 

Being a wuss. A lot of men have read too many “Men are From Mars” type books and think women like it when they ask before doing anything.

Be the alpha male instead and just do it. Flip her over, move her here and there. Be aggressive and even toss her about like a rag doll when you want to change positions and she will love it!

If something is going on that the woman doesn’t like, she will let you know.

Position Mistake 5:

Thinking the more sophisticated positions are better. You don’t need to be upside down, hanging from a lamp, and doing something crazy.

The old standby like the missionary (man on top, woman lying on her back) can be the best sexual position.

Tricky positions are just frustrating for everybody and often kill the mood.

There’s too much where should I put my arm or you can put certain parts in certain areas.

Now enough…lets just have fun!